"Why don't you date?"
This is a question I get, surprisingly, a lot.
It's certainly not as annoying as "Gosh, you're so tall," (Which I will not deny is true..) but after a while I'd like people to respect the fact that I see no need for a boyfriend at my young, innocent age... (pfft, innocent, whatever)
I know I posted an entry similar to this not that long ago but Christmas has once again brought it to my attention. About four of my galfriends have told me, "Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend to spend Christmas with" or "Seems like Christmas is the best time to be in love." And it truly breaks my heart to see them so upset that they don't have the full attention of a man to make them happy this season! Now they're all glum and it simply doesn't make sense.
I suppose I do get harsh on this subject, maybe because I feel obligated to guard my own heart. But guarding doesn't mean shutting every man out and huddling in a corner in fear of being in love. No. It means careful evaluating and inspecting them from behind the gate to see if they're worthy to be let in. I enjoy love; sometimes I wish I could be in love for Christmas too. I've experienced something like it before, but it usually didn't work out. Why, because I'm a kid. I don't know truly what love is, and that's okay. I need time to educate myself on it, to search it through and through, to purify it for myself. Some may argue that dating is a perfect way to do that. I understand, but I disagree. That's how people get hurt, in my humble opinion.
I've consented to sitting back, investigating and learning, and living my young teenage years free of romantic drama. That's another thing that's caused: Dramaaaaaa. Especially in love that is uneducated and premature and, frankly, self-centered.
I think we need to look at the two, ah, 'definitions' of love:
"You make me feel amazing when you're with me. I'm attracted to everything about you, and I think we should go out and see what happens."
Kay, that's typically the case in junior and senior high school. (But not always, I'm sure you'd say I'm wrong) Here's a more Christian based definition:
"I am going to commit everything I am to your well being and what I know is best for you, even if it hurts me. And even when the feelings of love come and go, I am going to be grounded and committed to you because it's a choice of love I made to you, not a feeling."
The first definition is a feeling, right? The second definition may seem not like love to you, but I believe it is. It's the first kind of love; the love God showed us when He chose not to leave us behind when we sinned. He chose to love us and do what He knows is best for us no matter how far we stray and no matter how much pain we cause Him sometimes. That's real love. The commitment, not the feeling. Because as we know, feeling come and go quicker than the wind. So, if we base your relationship with someone on these two definitions, which one do we think is going to last longer and hold stronger?
So, that is why I don't date. I'm a kid, who doesnt't know how to truly love yet, and I don't want to hurt anyone by pretending like I do.
And, lastly, in my opinion no real long-term relationship is going to work if it's not centered around Christ. Because only with Christ can we become unselfish, and a selfish love is no love at all. Seems perfectly in time for Christmas; going into these next few weeks let's reflect on the real love God showed us to begin with- sending His only Son to die for us so He could have a real relationship with us. What better example could we ask for?
But then again, dear, batty Miss Nightingale could be all wrong. If I am, I'll be sure to tell you... ;)
Thank you for tolerating that blurb of my mind. Happy cold, dreary December morning to you all. Nightingale~